About Me

A former Bo's Coffee Club barista now doctor going for the sights and tastes of her beloved Cebu with the occasional segue on experiences.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Contenencia de Su Apetito con Peliculas (Curbing Your Appetite With Movies)

Uh-huh Girl realizes that she has made a few pieces on movies with her blog.  Digging through the movie archives at the back of her mind, Uh-huh Girl has an epiphany.  She decides to put out this category, which names the 3 movies that had a profound effect on her appetite.

(Note:  Uh-huh Girl prefers not to eat while watching a movie.  She has staunch convictions that munching on your crunchies can impair your auditory abilities while watching, therefore making you ask the most annoying question while watching a movie:  "What did he/she say?")

Carnosaur (1993)
Plot:  A female mad scientist working for a food company manages to engineer dino DNA with chickens, giving them a comeback in the 20th century.  Said mad scientist also created a virus that infects females causing them to give birth to dinosaurs.  Mayhem spills across the movie as the chicken-dino eggs get transported out from the lab to nationwide consumers.
Gross factor:  Chicken-dino eggs  and crazy, live infected chickens are supplied to KFC!

Uh-huh Girl was a zit-faced, lumpy child of ten when she watched this movie from a rented Betamax tape.  She couldn't even finish the entire movie due to massive chicken genocide and mutated chicken-dinosaurs contaminating KFC.  (In retrospect, Carnosaur might have been Barney's evil sire.)  On that same day, Uh-huh Girl's parents took her and her sister out for dinner after hearing mass at Redemptorist Church.

Mother:  Where would you like to eat?
Uh-huh Girl:  Not KFC, anywhere without chicken.
Father:  What's wrong with chicken?
Uh-huh Girl:  I just watched Carnosaur this morning, the one you just rented.  It was gross, those were really sick chickens.
Sister:  Yeah, let's eat at Ding Qua Qua instead.  I love spring rolls and siomai as always.

(Ding Qua Qua used to be located in Mango Avenue, across the old Rustan's .  It's now a videoke place.)

As we were seated, a waiter stops by our table with his trolley of steamed food.

Waiter:  Would you like some siomai?  We have the plain, the quail egg, mushroom and empress rolls.
Dad:  We'll have the quail egg and the mushroom please.
Waiter:  How about some bacon?  Or the steamed chicken?
(Uh-huh Girl goes pale and can taste the bile in her throat.)
Mother:  No, no, not that one!  My daughter won't be eating chicken for a while.

Uh-huh Girl went chicken-free for a month.

Ravenous (1999)

Plot:  The movie goes with the premise of you get power from what you eat.  It exploits cannibalism, and man's greed to the extreme that man devours his fellows so he could become stronger.  (Come to think of it, this is just like The Highlander!  But the power transfer is by way ingestion rather than electrical conduction.)

Gross factor:  According to the movie, cannibalism is present in every culture and religion, even those postdating the pagans.  Christianity wasn't even spared.  "The body of Christ" and "holy communion" were implied in its literal sense.

Uh-huh girl was already in college when she saw this from a rental VCD.  She was attracted to the fine actors in the movie which includes Guy Pierce, David Arquette, and Robert Carlyle from the Full Monty.  Uh-huh Girl was called to eat lunch in the last 20 minutes of the film.  She decided to delay her lunch and see the movie till the end.  The movie had a good ending since good overcame evil, yada-yada.  But Uh-huh Girl's ending was tragic.  As soon as she sat down for lunch, she got served with beef stew...which had the same look as the cannibal stew served in the movie.  Uh-huh Girl went white-meat only for a month.

Hannibal (2001)

Plot:  Hannibal Lector decides to come out of hiatus and taunts Clarice Starling to catch him if she can.

Gross factor:  "Hello, Clarice..."  Hannibal's raspy voice sounds as if she is to be his next meal.  Hannibal performs lobotomy on Ray Liotta's conscious character, makes shabu-shabu with pieces of his brain and eats it.

Uh-huh Girl at present, is not fond of liver, nor is she interested in foie gras.  Why some people insist on eating pig's brains, she doesn't care to find out why.  

Comer bien! (Eat well!)  After all, you are what you eat.

No comments:

Post a Comment